The End of the World as We know it

Read an article in a magazine yesterday that has got me a little worried about the fate of the world. It listed over fifty things that, if things continue the way they are, we will run out of by 2050. Now this isn't a cute and fluffy animal list, but more of an inanimate but important list with things like helium on it. The list is pretty impressive and if I can ever find it online I will post it for you guys. However, the most frightening things that it listed as being threatened are Chocolate and Coffee.

According to experts, climate change (Whether you believe in Global Warming or whether or not People are responsible for GW, you can't argue that the climate is changing.) is threatening the areas where coffee and cocoa beans grow. Changes in temperature and rainfall combined with the inherent difficulties of cultivating these precious commodities is making it more and more difficult to grow them. Since both (cocoa plants especially) require some very specific conditions to thrive, it is entirely possible that we might face severe shortages if not complete loss in a fairly short period of time.

God, can you imagine a world without coffee or chocolate? A world where two of the most potent balms for man's belligerent nature don't exist? Being extremely creative and a little demented, I can and believe me when I say its not a very pretty picture. So many people depend on these miracle products to keep their tempers under control and to boost their morale when otherwise they'd simply find a dark closet and hide.

So come on folks, help save the world. Recycle, reuse, reheat...wait no forget the last one. If we don't do something now, the world isn't going to be a very pretty place in 30 or 40 years. I mean, do you want to live in a world where 80% of the people are going through DeeTees?

Do you know what is in water?

My random thoughts for the day. Did you ever wonder why, up till a fairly short period of time ago, almost everyone drank coffee, tea or some sort of alcoholic beverage? Look at old style movies, television shows and even listen to old style radio programs and you will see men and women sipped tea, drinking coffee or drinking wine. Pictures painted during these times show the same thing as well as early photographs. Rarely if ever did you see anyone enjoying a long glass of water.

Now the reason for this is the same reason why drinks like coffee and tea have become so deeply ingrained in the very psyche of men and woman all over the world. Up until a very short time ago, drinking water was physically hazardous. Water from rivers and streams had untold amounts of feces and parasites in it. Water from wells could easily carry toxic lead or other poisonous elements. The only way to safely ensure that the water you drank was fairly safe was to boil it. Hmm, boiling water...what does that suggest?

As an aside, alcoholic beverages were safe because they either were distilled or brewed and either process would easily destroy anything harmful in any of the water used. This is why you never saw a cowboy walk up to a bar and say, "Gimmee a tall glass of ice water in a clean glass!"

Okay aside over with. The brewing of tea and tea like beverages has been going on for a very long time. Besides the hundreds of benefits of drinking tea, the boiling of the water to make it would purify it. People could enjoy a hot drink and not get sick. Of course, I doubt the early brewers of these drinks ever realized this, but I am certain that, subconsciously at least, they equated the improved health with the tea drinking.

Coffee, of course, is much newer and doesn't have the same length of history as tea, but the same principle applies. As long as the waters weren't completely fouled, cooks could dip a coffee pot into any old stream or pond, dump coffee grounds in and let it boil till the treat was ready. Again, you got a jolt of caffeine without the danger of the runs.

These days, most of us don't have to worry about things like that. I personally have three seperate sources of filtered water available in my home and drink water with a head abandon that would horrify and puzzle my ancestors. However, I still brew many pots of coffee every day and enjoy every drop of it. Doesn't hurt to play it safe right?

How do you determine wealthy?

I am a wealthy man. No, I don't have all the money I need, let alone all the money I want. No, I don't have the most up to date computer, MP3 player etc and probably won't for a while to come. I sure don't have the kind of vehicle I want (Nothing fancy, just a new Ford Ranger). So how do I judge myself wealthy.

Well besides the fact that I am married to an amazing woman whose financial skills have kept us comfortable even though I have been out of work for three years now? Besides the fact that I have lost 135 pounds over the past two years while managing to keep my diabetes under control? Besides the fact that I am the proud "parent" of some of the most amazing animules in the world? Besides the fact that I have been blessed with some of the best friends around? (Wow, thats a lot of besides) Yes, besides all of that.

Here is why. In my kitchen, sitting on my counter is the means to brew any style of coffee drink I want. I can go old school and simply brew a pot of black coffee in my Mr. Coffee. I can get a little up tech and brew two individual cups of coffee in my 2ToGo coffee brewer. I can brew a cup of espresso that will grow hair on you and then curl it or turn that espresso in a white foamy latte in my Espresso Machine. Heck I can ever take that espresso, some ice, a little almond milk and some flavorings, toss it into my new uber blender and create a frappe anytime I want one.

Now think of the poor schmuck who has to get dressed, drive across town to a coffee shoppe and shell out $4.00+ for a latte or a frappe. He wastes his precious time and gas to buy a drink that I can make in the comfort of my own kitchen to my exact specification for a fraction of the costs. That is why I am a wealthy and lucky man. May all the Gods of Coffeedom bless you as they have blessed me.

Food for thought

My Brother in everything but blood posted a notice that he was going to go hunting for some wild dogs that had killed a bunch of goats (Herd, Gaggle, Flock?) and then have a massive cook out with the goat meat. Now my first reaction was Hot Dog! Barbecue Goat. Needless to say a lot of the reactions weren't quite so positive and pretty much amounted to Goat? Ewww! Which (Like most things do) got me to thinking. So lets talk about "To talk of many things: Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--And why the sea is boiling hot--And whether pigs have wings." or at least Goat, Deer and fish. (To anyone who doesn't recognize that quote, SHAME SHAME SHAME!)

It annoys my wife to no end when I start a sentence with "Back in the day" or "Back when I was a kid" because she claims that I am not old enough to have earned the right to talk like that, but that's the way this diatribe starts. Back when I was a kid (Hey Goat, Kid? It is a joke, don't you get it), we ate goat, venison, squirrel and pretty much any sort of meat that was slow enough to get caught. We didn't necessarily eat it because it was super good but simply because we were hungry. Half our food came from hunting and fishing. When you grow up dirt poor, you learn to eat everything you can and when you can cause it might be awhile before you get more.

Now that said, a lot of the food we "poor" folks ate and most better-offs turned their noses up was and still, just good food. Ever had Tripe? Most people turn their noses up at it these days, but it tastes great in soups and stews. Chitterlings? "Chitlins" I can promise you most people these days have never even tried them, but properly prepared they are good. The Aforementioned Goat? Goat meat can be a little tough and slightly bitter, but you prepare it properly in BBQ or a good think Stew and you got some darned good eating.

Now the thing that really kills me about people who won't touch these excellent foods is the things they will eat and consider it grand cuisine (Can't believe I spelled that right the first time). I won't even get started on raw clams and oysters since that is a different kettle of fish. Two of the most popular fish out there today for seafood dishes are Whiting and Tilapia. I haven't been to a restaurant lately that doesn't have at least one or two dishes starring this fish. People shell out big bucks for them. A decade ago, these fish were considered "trash fish" and most people would have turned their noses up at them. Now they are the "in" dish.

I guess what it boils down to and to make a long story short (Too Late), don't turn your noses up at something just because you have never had it. Don't be afraid to try new foods just because someone else has labeled them as "trash" or "bad." Be brave, be daring and try them all. After all, where would we be today if someone hadn't had the courage to try and eat a raw oyster?

Friendship

Yesterday on the day before my 47th birthday, I was reunited with two amazing people that I have seen in 25 years. One is a wonderful lady who has always been one of the most charming and entertaining people I have met. The other was a man whom I count among my 5 Best Friends of all times and one of two people I consider a brother (Besides my actual biological brothers.) At the risk of sounding immodest and egotistical (Wait too late)he is one of the few people that I have ever encountered that I consider to be my intellectual and creative equal. Even now after nearly 3 decades, I feel as close to him as I do anyone I know today.

Now all of this got me thinking about different things and one of them is friendship. I think friendship and friend are prolly two of the most misused words ever. Maybe because I have a much stronger view on what it means to be a friend but I think when most people use the words they actually mean acquaintances. They mean people they go to the clubs with on the weekend or meet for lunch together at work. All that is cool, but that is not friendship to me.

My Daddy told me once, "Bobby a real friend is someone if you call them up and say you just shot a man, the only thing that the friend is gonna do is help you get rid of the body." Maybe that sounds a little extreme, but that is the way I view friendship.

There are exactly two people besides my wife that I can honestly that I could call and no matter what they would help me. Brothers in everything but blood and twins in everything but body, these two people would do anything for me and I would do anything for them. Fight for them and die alongside of them if I had to.

I have lots of "friends" that are good people and I like them alot. Heck, I got hundreds of FaceBook friends and I like them all, but I give my true friendship out sparingly because, with me, it carries a lot of obligations because friends stay at each others sides no matter what.

So Phil, Ben, Thomas, Shari and a couple of more, you know who you are and what you mean to me. I'm there in a heartbeat (or three in some cases cause they are far away.) Friends to the end.

Unsung Heroes

(Climbs up on dusty soapbox and adjusts tie. Pulls wrinkled copy of Coffee Lovers of America out of coat and waves it.) Brothers and Sisters, I am here today to speak to you of those long lost, never remembered heroes that have made such a difference in our lives, but that hardly anyone even stops to ponder. These nameless men and women have given us so much, but are all but forgotten. They have never had a day set aside for the millions of followers to recognize, but today we will honor them.
So many of the things that we enjoy today were first discovered and put to use by people that lived so very long ago. These faceless, nameless saints are the ones who showed us important things like, while disgusting looking, oysters are safe to eat raw. They showed us that if you shove certain types of burning leaves in your mouth, you get a nicotine buzz (Also cancer, but we will ignore that one for now.) These brave souls discovered that if you hit something with a stick long enough it stops moving and you can eat it. So many gifts these ancients gave us.
Perhaps the greatest discovery in all the annals of Man's history has saved countless lives and enriched our lives to no end. Yea, even greater than the invention of the slicing of bread. Of course I speak of the humble coffee bean and the miracles it has worked on our world.
We will never know the name or face of the first person to put bean to boil although it was probably some grand woman of the distant past. More than likely this woman of long ago was looking for some form of food to feed her family and boiled the beans much like we would peas today. I can only imagine the looks of amazement and joy on these peoples faces as they sipped their "soup" and got the first caffeine jolt. It must have been truly amazing.
Thanks to the person who first was daring to boil a coffee bean, we haven enjoyed centuries of pleasure and peace that only the mighty bean can give us. Countless lives have been spared because the coffee soothed our souls and we didn't beat the crap out of people who annoyed us. Now the great beans grow all around the world and come to us in hundred of different types. Our world is richer because of them.
So Brothers and Sisters, take a moment of gentle silence for these unsung heroes and then grab a fresh mug of your favorite blend.

The mightiest bean on the planet

Coffee has been called many things in America. Joe, Java, mud, murk and Jamoke.
Poplar theories abound. The word Joe for coffee has two seemingly reasonable possibilities.
In 1860 a popular song of the times was "old black Joe" written by Stephen C. Foster the same man who wrote "Camp town races" and "Oh! Suzanna". Diners of the time picked up the slang 'Cup O Joe'.
Another possible answer could be that Secretary of the Navy, Joseph Daniels banned alcohol from US Navy warships in 1913 and sailors began drinking more and more coffee and calling it 'Joe'.
Whatever the reason it is called that, Coffee has been a standard for most Americans for a very long time. We drink it in the morning to wake up, sip it during the day to keep going and down it at night just to stay awake long enough to watch the news on TV. We drink it hot and cold. We gulp it down in such vast quantities that it has made Starbucks a household name.
Most coffee snobs would turn their noses up at being offered a classic cup of Joe IE a cup of black, house brand coffee maybe with a little sugar in it. They down their Venti Triple Espresso Double Caff with Soy Milk and designer whipped cream and poo poo the plain and simple fact that the only difference between their $7.00 drink and my $1.25 cuppa is $5.75 and a fancy name.
Now don't get me wrong, some coffees are better than others and I enjoy the more expensive ones when I can afford them, but Maxwell House gives you exactly the same buzz and tastes pretty good and some of the best cups of coffee I get come from simple little diners that probably spend $30.00 or so on an industrial size container of coffee grounds.
But expensive or cheap, fancy or plain Coffee is the balm that truly keeps most of us drinkers from simply reaching out and beating the hell out of someone who has really cheesed us off. So it's time we give the mighty coffee bean its due and quit hiding our cups behind newspapers so that no one can see us.
Oh for those who are wondering, this column will not always be about coffee. Mostly whatever catches my attention that doesn't fit into the format of my other blog. Hopefully you will find these posts humorous, maybe a little insightful and definitely fun. Drink on, my brothers and sisters of the Bean.