A perfect life

Okay here is a few things about me that some people know and some don't. I have Diabetes. I have been unemployed for going 4 years now. I am legally blind in both eyes and would be completely screwed if not for glasses. I have knees that are so badly messed up from high school football that me walking sounds like rice krispies in milk. I am 60 pounds overweight. I have the perfect life.

I am betting that last one threw everyone off after the first statements, but it is true. I have a life that most people would be envious of and many would probably kill for. How can this be so, you may ask. (Well hopefully you are asking because if you aren't it makes this blog pointless) The first few statements are pretty grim so what could possibly make me think I have the perfect life? Read on and you will understand.

Let's deal with the big one. I have diabetes. That's pretty big and believe me I was blown away when I found out. However, thanks to modern medicines, diet and exercise not to mention the support of good friends and family, my diabetes is completely under control and I have suffered no health complications because of it. (Knock on wood) I have the very real, very possible chance of one day getting off of the medications entirely and leading (what passes for) a normal life. So all is hoopla there.

Eyesight we will skip because it is no biggie. As for the knees, sure I messed them up and will suffer for the rest of my life because of it, but I had the time of my life playing alongside some amazing people so I can live with that.

I can hear what you're thinking, "Wow, 60 pounds overweight! What a slob." All I can say in my defense is two years ago, I weighed 130 pounds more than I do now. With tons of exercise, tight control over what I eat and drink and a whole lot of effort, I lost all that weight and fully intend on losing the remaining 60 by next year. So yes, I am overweight, but I can promise you that I am much better shape than many people and my health has never been better.

"Okay, fine," you might say. Then you will happily point out the out of work thing and you are right. Being out of work sucks. The loss of the extra money, the feelings of uselessness and the sheer boredom are the pits. I wish every day that I had a job, even a crappy one. However, thanks to my amazing wife's hard work and dedication things are pretty incredible despite my lack of employment. We have a wonderful house and plenty of food to eat. We have health insurance if we get sick and even have a brand new car to sport around town in. We are in no danger of going hungry, being homeless or having to walk 50 miles to work uphill both ways in the snow. (Yes I know I live in Georgia) In a time of extreme economic uncertainty for most of the country, we are safe, comfortable and happy.

There are two final conditions that make my life perfect. 1. I am married to the most amazing woman who ever lived. She is smart, talented and beautiful. She works hard everyday and rarely complains. Her brilliance is the reason why, in a few short years, we will be 95% debt free. She is everything I ever wanted in a wife and quite a few things I never imagined. I love her and amazingly enough she loves me. That alone would make my life perfect.

2. I have the good Lord above watching over me and mine. His guidance in recent times has been invaluable. I know that no matter how hard things get, how much we struggle, He is always there watching. The list of things I have to thank Him for is far to long to put in this blog, but I thank Him anyway. I know that no matter how far I fall, He will always be there to lift me up and dust me off. Knowing this, how can my life not be perfect.

I guess what I am trying to say in this seemingly self serving and sappy blog is this. No matter how bad you think things are. No matter how bad you think they are going to get, always remember that there may well be things in your life that make things better. You can have the "perfect life" without things being perfect. Never forget that.

Just fishing

These weekend, I spent a morning standing in the hot sun with little or no shade. I spent 5 hours sweating, being attacked by Skeeters, Gnats and more than a few ants. I got badly sunburned on my neck and the back of my head, plus cut my hand in at least two places. By the time I was done, I was hot, sweaty and more than a little dehydrated. It was one of the best days of my life.

During this torture, I spent 5 hours with one of my oldest friends (still living anyways) talking about everything from hunting to politics. I was with someone that I didn't have to mince words with or dumb down my conversation for. I could say what I wanted the way I wanted and not worry about hurting his feelings. We haven't really spent any time together for the better part of two decades and have only had brief contact since finding each other again on the Net, but that morning you wouldn't have been able to tell it. We were just as comfortable with each other as we had been back in college days. We literally picked up from where we left off without the least bit of effort.

So, what that does that say about our friendship? Simple, its solid and everlasting. He is one of three or four people that I know I can call on in an emergency and he will be there for me. He is one of maybe two friends that if I were to call up and say, "I just killed someone." the only question he'd probably ask was "Need help hiding the body."

I make some small claim to intelligence. I'd post my IQ here but in reality those numbers have very little meaning. For instance, I suck at math so my score is lower than it could be, but that doesn't make me any less intelligent. The only reason I mention this today is because my friend is easily my intellectual and creative equal. He is a brilliant writer/author/social commentator with three books under his belt. His humor reminds of me Will Rogers and Mark Twain with a little Lewis Grizzard thrown in for good measure. So spending 5 hours with him fishing for Bream and Bass was fantastic. Getting to spend lunch with his amazing family was just an added bonus.

So to sum it all up: Friend/Fishing/Fun. Nuff said!
(For those who are curious, the cooler of fish we caught came out to about five pounds of fresh fish after I got them cleaned and prepped.)

Showing Appreciation

I recently had a discussion with someone I care a great deal about. It involved feeling and showing appreciation. Needless to say, being your typical male the discussion rotated around me and my need to feel appreciated. Half way through this discussion, the other half of this conversation asked me if I appreciated her and if I did, how was I showing it? Being of a one track mind, these questions kind of threw me and my rant pretty much devolved into "Uh, Um, Duh."

So now, in the bright sunlight of a brand new day I am pondering what she asked. Forgetting the rightness or wrongness of my feelings of not being appreciated (Prolly wrong), do I appreciate her and everything she does for me and if I do, do I show it?

First part first, do I appreciate her and everything she does? That one is easy. I grew up very poor and even though we always made do and were happy, there was really never enough of anything. I remember my brother coming home from school, carefully washing his one suit of clothes and hanging them out to dry so he'd have clothes for school the next day. I remember when a big bowl of Mac and Cheese wasn't the side dish, it was the whole meal. Like my brother, Benjamin, I remember working in sweltering heat, picking veggies and such so that we'd have food to eat. So I remember wanting and needing everything.

Now, I can open up my dresser or trunk and find drawers full of clean new clothes. I have shoes for all occasions that aren't the $9.00 Wal-Mart shoes that might last a month. I open up my refrigerator and freezer and see weeks of food, veggies and even desserts stocked up. I wake up in the mornings and can make a cup of high quality coffee and sit at my high speed computer surfing the internet. Most importantly of all, I go bed beside and wake up beside the most amazing woman in the world. So, in answer to the first question, Yes I appreciate her very very much. More than words can ever express.

Now on to the second, much trickier question. Do I tell and show her everyday how much I appreciate her. Do I express my amazement that she has stayed with me all these years when God and my friends know I am not easy to live with. Do I show her the awe and gratitude I feel at all of her hard work in keeping us fed and with a roof over our heads? Do I give her all the thanks and love she deserves for putting up with all she puts up with?

Being typically male, my first impulse is to say "Of course I do." Being a fairly intelligent and mostly honest person, the official answer is "Probably not." She works so hard and puts up with so much grife from me and from her job. She comes home exhausted, hot and sore everyday. I think that she deserves so much more appreciation than I give her.

So, starting today, I make this resolution in front of God and all my readers. (You two know who you are) I will do everything in my power to make her understand just how grateful I am for everything she does. I will do my best to quit being so damned whiny all the time and care more about her. She deserves all of that and more.

Welcome to the new American Revolution

This probably seems like a strange venue to be speaking about revolutions and striking back against the government, but since all of this came about because a bunch of tired, angry Rednecks started joking around about tailgating Congress and "Taking back America one rib at a time" it seems strangely appropriate to talk about it here.

So here is the basic idea behind the "Tailgate Revolution." (Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_218764408157645&ap=1). The American Government is broke, can't be fixed and something needs to be done about it. Unlike politicians and pundits, we aren't going to stand around and gripe about it, blame other people and ask for money. Griping hasn't done any good, we all share the blame for this mess and...well honestly who'd give a bunch of crazy Rednecks money. (If so inclined we will take small unmarked bills however.)

Our goal is to gather as many people together as we can and send a message to the President, Congress and the Senate that is uniquely our own. Some time this summer, once we have gathered as many Brothers and Sisters as we can, we intend to flock (Do Rednecks flock? Gaggle...) to DC and stage the first ever Tailgate Revolution! By showing up in the thousands and simply peacefully protesting (Okay grilling, barbecuing, deep frying etc) before these great halls of power and basically making a nuisance of ourselves, we are going to show the powers that be that the basic building blocks of America (Lower and Middle Class citizens) are sick and damned tired of all the bullcrap that is going on.)

Traditonally, Revolutions are generally started when People of power aren't satisfied with what the other People of Power are doing, so they overthrow those people and put themselves in charge. The Revolutionary War was started because a bunch of Rich, White Men decided they didn't like what another bunch of rich white men were doing to them. The Civil War started the same way (No matter what you believe the causes were) when a bunch of (Once again) rich white dudes didn't like what a bunch of other rich white dudes were planning.

So (With some notable exceptions) the history of revolutions really hasn't done much for the non-rich people and, for the most part, they weren't really consulted about it. Well, here is the new American Revolution which is being planned by a bunch of people who struggle with their bills, worry about the next paycheck and probably think owning stock means buying chickens.

We are going to send a clear message to the government. Will it do any good? Will change come about because of it? Who knows? We hope so, but only time will tell. But hey, even if nothing changes this time, we will still be around to try again and again. In the mean time, there will be plenty of ribs, steaks and turkeys cooked and lots of fun had by all. Join us! Let's send that message!

I gots Coffee in my pants!

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/video/caffeine-laced-pants-weight-loss-13676961

Okay I am the first to cheer the wonders of caffeine, coffee especially. It lowers your blood pressure, lowers your blood sugar and even helps prevent cancer. I think the drying and cooking of the mighty bean is one of the greatest discoveries since the slicing of the bread. But there have to be limits to even the mighty bean's powers and I am sorry but coffee in your clothing does not help you lose weight.

The company Lytess claims that their caffeine laced undergarments help slim you down and help you lose weight because the caffeine in the cloth "stimulates" your metabolism and helps you burn calories. If that doesn't sound more than a little unbelievable to you, then I gots a bridge in Brooklyn and some ocean front property in Arizona I will sell you on the cheap.

All the experts who have studied this product agree that Caffeine, when INGESTED, works wonders for the system. Entire books have been written about the subject and pretty much all of them agree that drinking tea or coffee on a regular basis is a great way to keep healthy along with regular exercise and healthy diet. You don't need some gimmick to get the benefits. All you have to do is have a cuppa in the morning. When all is said and done, drink your coffee, don't wear it.