THIS JUST IN, FIRE STILL HOT!

Huh, really?  Never would have guessed.

Okay, I give up! I hereby freely and without duress, admit that Tom Clark, Ben Baker and Todd Douglas among others are right and we live in a Nanny State. I also admit that Wonko the Sane was right in locking us all up inside the Asylum because we sure as heck are loonier than a lake during migrating season. Honestly folks, we all need serious medications and comfy jackets that let us hug ourselves.

(As a literary aside here, Wonko the Sane was introduced in the great Douglas Adam's classic So long and thanks for all the fish who realized that the whole world was nuts after reading the instructions on a pack of toothpicks. If you haven't read this book and the others in the series, you should.)

So I was making my breakfast this morning which consisted of a 4 egg omelet with pepperoni and cheese. I was frying the pepperoni and scrambling the eggs when I happened to look down at the carton of well you know, eggs and saw the above label. My first thought was “Well, Duh!” and my second thought was “Really?” My third thought consisted of “Oh crap my pepperoni is burning!”

I mean everyone has made the jokes about coffee cups that come with a warning that the liquid inside is hot and other assorted nonsense, but have we really and truly become so paranoid and over cautious that we feel the need to tell people who presumably can read comprehend the concept of egginess that the carton they are holding contains eggs?

In the incredible MMORPG game World of Warcraft (That is Multi Member Online Role Playing Game for those not in the know) there is a series of quests that start out silly and end up being very very silly. The initial quest is entitled “This just in, Fire still hot.” The above warning label strikes me as on about the same intellectual level as the quest warning.

The fact that these sorts of labels exist tell me one of two things about people and neither is very flattering. Thing one is that the manufacturers and producers of these products truly believe that Americans are that stupid. This one isn't so bad, because it is only a small section of our population. Thing two is that the public really is that dim and the warning labels are necessary to protect both the public and the producers. Like I said, neither one is very kind.

Of course a part of it all has to be the Litigious nature of the world today. People complain because they were burned because they didn't realize that their coffee was hot. Others suing fast food companies because they didn't realize eating 5 Big Macs a day would make them fat. Parents complaining because Teachers flunk their kids, but whinge because their kids are growing up stupid. Maybe these labels are simply a sign of just how greedy and selfish we are becoming? Stupid or greedy? I am not sure which one makes me sadder.

Brew Long and Prosper